Breaking Down the Walls Around Your Heart


Life is like a wave filled with up’s & down’s.  Downs can have a harshness to it loaded with powerful words that strike like bullets ~ often a one-way-ticket into retrieval, leaving no room for trust.

This is a recipe for instant walls around the heart.  Sadly shutting down as a defence against hurt comes at a price.


So how does this inner space ~ the most powerful organ in the body ~ work?  NO not like in Grey’s Anatomy!  I’m talking about emotions.

Frequently the source for building walls stems from unresolved emotional issues that we struggle to get past.  Something happened during early & or later development creating a filter through which all future relationships will be reviewed.

Unable to move out of the pain these emotions becomes baggage rooted in past pain.

Emotional Baggage – Negative Perceptions

The ‘ghosts’ of our past, sometimes so prominent that we can’t put it to rest.

Undealt negative perceptions becomes emotional baggage.  Without even realizing it we carry baggage with us into adulthood with the perception that we’re not strong enough to resolve it.  So we ignore it & just ‘carry’ its wait.

Fact is it can’t be ignored.  Emotions influence our thought processes affecting the present with a negative effect on current behaviour & attitudes.

~ Everyone has baggage! ~ Rude awakenings & hurt is part of the parcel.

Defence Mechanism

Heart-walls is defense mechanisms that protect us against things that we can’t deal with & want to block {or so we think}.  It’s an unconscious coping technique distorting reality in order to protect us from past hurt & keep us from repeating previous mistakes.

Not necessarily a bad thing if it’s in the form of boundaries, however warning lights should start to flash when it start to define you ~ a sign that your emotions are probably taking control of your experiences.

Throwing up Walls

The purpose of walls is to keep things out or in…

In reality it’s an awfully destructive proses with a slippery slope effect. Negative emotions becomes trapped stuck on repeat mode reliving painful events ~ a disconnect from others hinder the development of healthy relationships.

Not being able to bond with others self-doubt creeps in causing you to think that something is wrong with you ~ flowing over in difficulty to feel @ ease in social events ~ leaving the person behind the wall despondent, lonely & sad.  And the walls become a brick higher…

Rethinking emotional baggage

I’m a formidable builder {I don’t say this with proud I’m merely acknowledging a part of me that needs growth}. I started my journey with the simple question: “how is this working for you?”  My answer: “not at all” & so my breaking process started.

Ask yourself the same question!

It’s difficult to completely move past the burden of emotional baggage but with time, patience & support it’s possible. As the builder of your walls you are also in charge of breaking it down.

It must be done with great care, brick by brick keeping in mind that every brick has its own story to be acknowledged & dealt with.

In the end, it all comes down to trust.  Give yourself permission to trust again!

Reconnecting with Self

Remember your heart is your core, sensitive & complicated.   You can’t jump in with a sledge hammer knocking down walls left, right & centre.

We don’t want to throw petrol on fire so the first step is NOT to take action.  Immediate action will only cause procrastination causing anxiety levels to rise or shoot through your roof.

The first step is simply focusing on positive mental images called ~ visualization.  Think of it as daydreaming, mental images that influence perceptions & expectations.

To reconnect start with imagining yourself as courageous enough to open the door of your wall.  Picture yourself separating from the fear of getting hurt again while shredding all the voices of doom & gloom.



Visualize your first step of freedom with an abundance of love awaiting you down the road.

HAVE FUN, allow your DREAMS to flood you & always mix whatever life throws @ you with a good amount of LAUGHTER ~ I can’t stress this enough!




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