Setting Healthy Boundaries

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In my last post I shared with you some inspirational quotes on breaking down the walls that keep you from living a full & happy life ~ I hope you found it helpful.  Today I’d like to talk to you about boundaries ~ the replacement of walls.

Boundaries the most Important Aspect of Balance

Boundaries = a line which marks the limits of an area.  Setting clear & healthy boundaries is one of THE most important aspects for a balanced life.  It shows who you are & who you’re not ~ it differentiate us from one another by drawing a clear line of where you end & someone else begins.

It’s not natural to exclude yourself by living behind walls out of fear of rejection, failure, trust issues etc. Life can be harsh no one can deny that but we were created to live in a community.

To be overcome with fear & building walls for protection is denying our basic need for relationships.  Another unhealthy boundary is not having any boundaries leaving yourself open to be used.  Both extremes  lead to feelings of being alone, isolated, exhausted, underappreciated & frustrated.

Healthy boundaries is having balance between the processes of give & take by taking responsibility & ownership of yourself & your life.   Giving one the ability & wisdom to know when, to whom & the reason for saying no.  Boundaries have an influence on the quality of you as an individual ~ defining & influencing you in all areas of your life.

Boundaries became important to me when I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia ten years ago.

For a couple of years after the diagnosis I tried to carry on as usual ~ overcommitting & pushing myself over my limit.  Over extending myself had dire consequences forcing me to a standstill where I had to take stock of my life.

Saying no to people made me feel guilty on top of that I got stuck in explaining myself & apologizing for not being able to be everywhere & do everything that was expected of me.  I soon realized that people will think & believe what they want to regardless of what I say or do…

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I Embarked on a Treasure Hunt Finding Myself. 

This is what I Learned:

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It is a Process …

Remember it’s a process don’t stress or feel despondent if you haven’t got all the answers to start with.  What matters is that you take the first step!

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Boundaries that needs taking care of:

You are made up of a unique one-of-a-kind mind, heart, body & soul.  Each with its own needs to be met in order for you to live the life you desire.

  • Physical Boundaries / Personal Space

The first boundary that we learn about.  Your body ~ house ~ room ~ your time etc.

People differ in the amount of space they need to feel safe & comfortable.

Boundaries are also created by words.  The word NO set crystal clear expectations on what your no is & what your yes is.

  • Mental Boundaries

Allowing you to have your own opinions & thoughts.

This is what you want to nurture for instance knowledge {read, learn & grow}, creativity {music, art, scrapbooking} etc.

  • Emotional Boundaries

Crucial in relationships!

It’s the way you allow others to treat you & the way you treat others in various social situations.

Each person in the relationship must have a clear defined sense of self keeping own identity intact.

A clear sense of self helps us to communicate our needs & desires to the rest of the group without feeling threatened by differences ~ with ability to appreciate the unique qualities of each individual.

Healthy emotional boundaries is also the wisdom to know when to step back from harmful, manipulative individuals.

  • Spiritual Boundaries

Thoughts ~ beliefs ~ opinions.

Where you stand in awareness & know what level of spirituality you like to grow to.

Connect or reconnect with your inner higher self.

Consciously looking for beauty around you.

Finding increased meaning and satisfaction in life.

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