How To Handle Complicated Boundaries

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Setting boundaries can be necessary to keep body ~ mind ~ soul healthy & balanced. Although each are unique they’re linked to form the unique individual you are. Therefore an emotional draining relationship will in time affect the way you think ~ feel ~ behave.

Boundaries will differ according to the type of relationship ~ needs ~ purpose of relationship ~ emotional wellbeing. So as complex individuals with own temperament, character & personality relationships will be equally complex.

Unhealthy Boundaries

Never set boundaries from a space of anger or revenge. Do to others as you would have them do to you…

Be careful not to set boundaries from your own vulnerabilities. Using boundaries to avoid unresolved issues will not work to your advantage. In the long run it will resurface influencing the way you approach people. Choose to see it as an opportunity to grow.

Types Of Relationships

Surface relationships can more easily be ended if there’s no other solution ~ not that I’m implying that it will be an easy process.

Setting clear boundaries with family & long-term relationships are much more complicated.

Cutting Ties

Although boundaries are usually enough to continue with the relationship there’s always the exception to the rule.

Sometimes setting boundaries allow the needed space to be able to recognize how destructive a relationship has become.

It’s very difficult to remain unaffected by hurtful comments ~ actions especially coming from a significant other. If the boundaries can’t relieve the pressure the relationship probably reached a stage where it’s breaking you down ~ causing self-esteem problems.

You are the only one who knows to what extend the relationship has taken you ~ making you the only who can change the situation.

Dealing With The Loss Of A Relationship

Cutting ties leave one with mixed emotions in different degrees ~ ranging from relieve to a sense of loss.

It’s important to allow yourself to go through these emotions.

Don’t try to fix ~ change it.

Don’t ignore it ~ brush it off.

&

Don’t get consumed by it ~ you’ll get stuck unable to move forward ~ heal ~ grow.

If you don’t acknowledge & allow your emotions to run its course it will find ‘voice’ through your behaviour ~ thoughts ~ feelings. Influencing future relationships in a negative way.

Give yourself time to work through your emotions while remaining gentle ~ loving ~ patient with yourself.

You will get through it wiser ~ with the capacity to nurture current relationships & grow deep relations equally rewarding to all parties.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Be true to yourself!

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Value Of An Authentic Life

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Authenticity ~ the new buzz word in town. But what does it mean to be your true self & which one of the characters {parent, partner, friend, colleague, child etc.} will be the true self & is authenticity based on virtue or materialism?

History

The earliest account of authenticity ~ still popular today ~ date back to the ancient Greek Philosopher Socrates in his work on virtue. Socrates believed the best way for people to live was to focus on their quest of virtue rather than pursuing material wealth.

And here we are still in the same tug of war ~ materialism vs. virtue…

Obstacles

The majority of us are struggling with low self-esteem due in part to social pressure ~ not allowing uniqueness ~ & in part personality formed from personal perceptions.

Negative self-talk & trying to stay in the main stream leaves an emptiness in us with a desperate need for recognition & approval. To fill this need we turn outwards changing words & actions to the point where morals, rules & the law are disregarded.

My Perception

Being on a journey of finding my true self I learned that living in a world chasing after wealth, possessions, power & control creates a very real obstacle on the road to authenticity.

There’s two main views on authenticity. Some believe it’s based on a strong religious foundation ~ other’s believe truth are found without the use of virtues. For them it’s being a free-thinker deciding self between right & wrong.

It makes sense {to me} that authenticity based on man’s ever changing understanding of life will cause confusion especially in the attempt of finding ones truth. Furthermore embracing your authentic self by disclosing all thoughts & feelings based on own opinion of right & wrong is both unrealistic & risky.

I believe authenticity lies within all of us. But somewhere amongst the outside noise & opinions we disconnected from ourselves & God ~ turning to society for recognition & approval.

Finding Something Bigger    

Turning back to something bigger & greater than the self is the first step to a truthful life. Living according to Gods unchanging word guides thoughts & actions, building a strong sense of self. Giving one the wisdom & courage to stand independent from the world / swimming against the stream.

Truth is taking responsibility for your acts & thoughts ~ stripping away the layers of perceptions is not easy or an overnight process.

It’s a daily commitment. The world is still going to continue as is.  There will still be shitty, complicated & fast paced days.

Always remember you are valuable for who you are, not what you do.

Authenticity in a nutshell is ~ sincerity of intention ~ living with no pretence or masks ~ living in the here & now with a clear understanding of self. 

Be true to yourself.

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