How To Handle Complicated Boundaries

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Setting boundaries can be necessary to keep body ~ mind ~ soul healthy & balanced. Although each are unique they’re linked to form the unique individual you are. Therefore an emotional draining relationship will in time affect the way you think ~ feel ~ behave.

Boundaries will differ according to the type of relationship ~ needs ~ purpose of relationship ~ emotional wellbeing. So as complex individuals with own temperament, character & personality relationships will be equally complex.

Unhealthy Boundaries

Never set boundaries from a space of anger or revenge. Do to others as you would have them do to you…

Be careful not to set boundaries from your own vulnerabilities. Using boundaries to avoid unresolved issues will not work to your advantage. In the long run it will resurface influencing the way you approach people. Choose to see it as an opportunity to grow.

Types Of Relationships

Surface relationships can more easily be ended if there’s no other solution ~ not that I’m implying that it will be an easy process.

Setting clear boundaries with family & long-term relationships are much more complicated.

Cutting Ties

Although boundaries are usually enough to continue with the relationship there’s always the exception to the rule.

Sometimes setting boundaries allow the needed space to be able to recognize how destructive a relationship has become.

It’s very difficult to remain unaffected by hurtful comments ~ actions especially coming from a significant other. If the boundaries can’t relieve the pressure the relationship probably reached a stage where it’s breaking you down ~ causing self-esteem problems.

You are the only one who knows to what extend the relationship has taken you ~ making you the only who can change the situation.

Dealing With The Loss Of A Relationship

Cutting ties leave one with mixed emotions in different degrees ~ ranging from relieve to a sense of loss.

It’s important to allow yourself to go through these emotions.

Don’t try to fix ~ change it.

Don’t ignore it ~ brush it off.

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Don’t get consumed by it ~ you’ll get stuck unable to move forward ~ heal ~ grow.

If you don’t acknowledge & allow your emotions to run its course it will find ‘voice’ through your behaviour ~ thoughts ~ feelings. Influencing future relationships in a negative way.

Give yourself time to work through your emotions while remaining gentle ~ loving ~ patient with yourself.

You will get through it wiser ~ with the capacity to nurture current relationships & grow deep relations equally rewarding to all parties.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Be true to yourself!

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Value Of An Authentic Life

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Authenticity ~ the new buzz word in town. But what does it mean to be your true self & which one of the characters {parent, partner, friend, colleague, child etc.} will be the true self & is authenticity based on virtue or materialism?

History

The earliest account of authenticity ~ still popular today ~ date back to the ancient Greek Philosopher Socrates in his work on virtue. Socrates believed the best way for people to live was to focus on their quest of virtue rather than pursuing material wealth.

And here we are still in the same tug of war ~ materialism vs. virtue…

Obstacles

The majority of us are struggling with low self-esteem due in part to social pressure ~ not allowing uniqueness ~ & in part personality formed from personal perceptions.

Negative self-talk & trying to stay in the main stream leaves an emptiness in us with a desperate need for recognition & approval. To fill this need we turn outwards changing words & actions to the point where morals, rules & the law are disregarded.

My Perception

Being on a journey of finding my true self I learned that living in a world chasing after wealth, possessions, power & control creates a very real obstacle on the road to authenticity.

There’s two main views on authenticity. Some believe it’s based on a strong religious foundation ~ other’s believe truth are found without the use of virtues. For them it’s being a free-thinker deciding self between right & wrong.

It makes sense {to me} that authenticity based on man’s ever changing understanding of life will cause confusion especially in the attempt of finding ones truth. Furthermore embracing your authentic self by disclosing all thoughts & feelings based on own opinion of right & wrong is both unrealistic & risky.

I believe authenticity lies within all of us. But somewhere amongst the outside noise & opinions we disconnected from ourselves & God ~ turning to society for recognition & approval.

Finding Something Bigger    

Turning back to something bigger & greater than the self is the first step to a truthful life. Living according to Gods unchanging word guides thoughts & actions, building a strong sense of self. Giving one the wisdom & courage to stand independent from the world / swimming against the stream.

Truth is taking responsibility for your acts & thoughts ~ stripping away the layers of perceptions is not easy or an overnight process.

It’s a daily commitment. The world is still going to continue as is.  There will still be shitty, complicated & fast paced days.

Always remember you are valuable for who you are, not what you do.

Authenticity in a nutshell is ~ sincerity of intention ~ living with no pretence or masks ~ living in the here & now with a clear understanding of self. 

Be true to yourself.

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Authenticity ~ Believe in Yourself

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 What percentage of you do you allow the world to see & what’s keeping you from showing yourself to the world?

The Need To Belong

Being stuck in believing that we’re not worthy enough makes our worst fear of being alone come true.

The need to belong is universal it’s not by choice but by creation.  In other words by allowing fear to keep us locked within ourselves we become disconnected that keep us from living from our hearts. Continue reading Authenticity ~ Believe in Yourself

Authentic You. Whose Thoughts & Feelings are You Entertaining.

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If we’re superiorly & artfully created as unique individuals each with his/her own gifts & temperament, then why & how do we end up ‘misplacing’ our authenticity?

The sad answer is that we live in a society that frown upon uniqueness & cheer for sameness.  Being just another fish in the sea makes it extremely challenging to remain true to our core self.  Continue reading Authentic You. Whose Thoughts & Feelings are You Entertaining.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

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In my last post I shared with you some inspirational quotes on breaking down the walls that keep you from living a full & happy life ~ I hope you found it helpful.  Today I’d like to talk to you about boundaries ~ the replacement of walls.

Boundaries the most Important Aspect of Balance

Boundaries = a line which marks the limits of an area.  Setting clear & healthy boundaries is one of THE most important aspects for a balanced life.  It shows who you are & who you’re not ~ it differentiate us from one another by drawing a clear line of where you end & someone else begins. Continue reading Setting Healthy Boundaries

Inspirational Quotes on Building Walls Around Your Heart

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As mentioned, everybody has walls varying from not good enough emotions hiding behind Alcatraz walls ~ to good enough emotions with healthy boundaries allowing one to function in the present.

I’m hard at work maintaining healthy boundaries in my life concentrating not to fall back on constructing my own Berlin Wall. Continue reading Inspirational Quotes on Building Walls Around Your Heart

Breaking Down the Walls Around Your Heart

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Life is like a wave filled with up’s & down’s.  Downs can have a harshness to it loaded with powerful words that strike like bullets ~ often a one-way-ticket into retrieval, leaving no room for trust.

This is a recipe for instant walls around the heart.  Sadly shutting down as a defence against hurt comes at a price. Continue reading Breaking Down the Walls Around Your Heart

Changing Negative Perceptions to Positive Perceptions

 

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“Life is like a coin.  You can spend it on anything but only once”. 

If actions mimic environment, then your perceptions will reflect which side of the coin-of-life you spend most of your time.

One side will hold you in negative values, beliefs & attitudes while the other side is an open space of possibilities.

It may be true that the negative perceptions from your belief system start twisting you into its web from birth.  But it’s also a fact that the worth you give yourself can be changed to coax self-empowerment back to life. Continue reading Changing Negative Perceptions to Positive Perceptions

Acknowledge yourself

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Your thoughts got you in the not good enough space & your thoughts are going to get you out of it.

Believe quoteIf you don’t know where or how to break free from the not good enough trap; are willing but certain issues are holding you back or started the journey but somewhere along the road lost your way then you are @ the right time @ the right place.

I’ve been on this boat of insecurities leaking lies & confusion up to the point where it felt like I was drowning.

Learning Life Lessons

I’ll admit that I wasn’t the brightest student in a lot of my life lessons frequently going through the motions just to get it over with.  I tried hiding, tantrums, refusal & a fair bit of sulking ~ with the same result every time.  I failed miserably & found myself facing the same test again… & sometimes again.

I realized that lessons will return ~ each time a bit more forceful UNTIL you pay attention, learn & grown through it.  I don’t recommend my first attempts of going through the motions.  It didn’t work for me & it’s not going to work for you!

It’s out of those ‘boat trips’ that I advice you not to  get on; or remain in a space of insecurities.  I’ll motivate you to find your Good Enough Self ~ encourage you to stop expecting the worst in life ~ remind you to stop living up to the world’s expectations.

Any adventure leaves bruises but it’s totally worthwhile ~ nothing will be able to replace the feeling of accomplishment, joy & pride in yourself!

Ignoring your messages & lessons by using all your time & energy to fit in with the world is exhausting b e c a u s e  it’s not meant to be.

Not Supposed to Fit In

We’re not supposed to fit in!!  So get out of that mind set by choosing the journey to abundance.  It’s not a bubble wrapped journey ~be ready to get scratched & bruised ~ be prepared & get your medical kit ready stocked up with gentleness, understanding, patience, comfort & lots of love for yourself.  You will get through it wiser & stronger.

By managing your lifestyle habits you’ll be able to go through life as a healthy individual full of self-confidence standing for what you believe in.

Commit to yourself & work towards a space where you can treat yourself with the love & respect you deserve!

Spent your time & energy on learning to acknowledge yourself, get in touch with your feelings & experience each step.

We are unique & therefore in our own space & phase of life soooo comparing & competition has no place here.  Keep reminding yourself that you’re walking away from external control towards internal control by consciously blocking the outside noises.

Gaining Knowledge

The first step is gaining knowledge of yourself through self-examination & reflection.

Knowledge is power & the goal is empowering yourself.  This can only be done through self-examination ~ what makes you tick, your likes & dislikes, your dreams, strengths, weaknesses etc.  Take time to get to know yourself ~ be flexible & allow yourself to change.

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Well done!  I’m proud of you for taking the first step & so should you!

Looking forward to our next visit.

Please share your comments & insights

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